Life is like a poker game. You are dealt either a good or bad hand. With the hand you are dealt you will place a bet with the hopes of winning or you will fold because you know you just can't win. And with the latter, even bluffing may not be such a good idea. But do you know how many people go through life "bluffing" when their life is falling apart? I am one of those people.
Ever since my father died in 2001, my life has been a long, drawn out poker game. Basically, I have been bluffing just to get by. You are probably asking what am I talking about? Well, I have to continuously put a smile on my face, for all to see, while I am crying on the inside, ready to explode at any moment. But I don't explode because I know I must keep this smile on my face so others don't feel obligated to have to ask "What's wrong?" or "What can I do to help?".
You see, in many cases, people really do not want to know what's wrong because they don't care. Knowing this I turn all of my depression, sadness, frustration and anger inside. Doing this allows me to keep the smile on face so nobody will feel obligated to act like they care about what is wrong with me. Before you even ask, no I haven't found an outlet for any of this frustration. Because I am not working (I haven't worked in over 3 years) I sleep all day. This is my way of not dealing with messed up, long, boring, nothing accomplished day!
I have one good friend who says I should write a book about the mishaps and tragedies of my life. What do you think?
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